look dave, my bloody friend gave you MY number last night as a complete joke at my expense.
you are 26 with a child
not even a baby
an actual child that i’m guessing is about 6
i assumed by me texting you twice now, saying ‘i’m sorry you must have the wrong number’ you’d give up. i assumed wrong.
never saw this but lmfao
the other day i took something out of the oven when drunk but it was heavier than i expected so to avoid dropping it i rested it on my arm as i only had an oven thing on one hand
i dont know why i thought this would be a better idea than just putting it down
so yeah i burned my arm
at the top as well, idegi
though soon i will be skint again and the owner of a car i wont be able to drive for months, excellent
i want to be catwoman
